Me: I am also intoxicated. But i'm home alone, so i guess i shouldn't be proud of it. Whatever i'd rather be home alone and drunk rather than home alone and sober.
Friend: I read the first sentence, stopped, and laughed with pride.
Me: So why are drunk when you have an exam in two days?
Friend: I hope that's not judgement I detect?! Well, it's a first year exam and my friend asked if I wanted to mid-week. Later found out that her dog died. Consolement booze.
Me: Dude, I have a third year exam on Saturday and I'm the one drinking alone. I don't know what judgement means. Thats a complete lie. I spend half my life judging others. Tell your friend I said sorry about her dog. I was devastated when my dog died and am still bitter towards my parents when they say anything negative about her. **
Me: You know, i never used to drink alone until i knew you did.
Friend: That's not cool... I use you as my excuse for lone drinking!
Me: How the fuck does that work!?
Friend: I'm confused again! I need another drink...
Me: Let's call it even. Cheers! *makes text eye contact* *****
** Seriously, when my parents rang me to say they were having my dog put down I was at my friend's house. As soon as I hung up, I started crying. They never knew this happened. By the time I built up the courage to go home, after my dog had been 'taken care of' at the vets, I was convinced to go to Lancelin with my parents. In the car I felt pretty low and enjoyed listening to my iPod on an hour and a half trip there. Funny how love songs about "her" and "she" and how "she left you" and "broke your heart" become about your dead dog. I'm somewhat certain that was the last time I went to Lancelin.
***** I also didn't know about this tradition until I met this friend. Apparently if you cheers someone and don't look them in the eye at the same time you get a bad sex life. When I think about all the cheersing I did before I met this friend, it explains a lot.
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