- I would let Ron penetrate me.
- I would probably penetrate Hermione. She's way hotter and smarter than Ginny, and never went to the Yule ball with Neville. Instead she went with Krum. Who is obviously super-cooler and broods way more.
- I would most likely whinge too much to save the world from Voldermort. Actually, I would probably whinge too much about sleeping under the stairs, and the Dursleys would have left me there. Therefore Hagrid would never have found me, and I would never know the meaning of 'sorting hat', 'potions' or even know how to find Diagon Alley.
In essence I would be left, under the stairs and talking to snakes. Which, if you ask me is a far better state than either a) dead, b) married to Ginny or c) saving the wizarding world from a) the incompetence of the ministry and b) the world's meanest wizard.
Unfortunately I would never have had the opportunity to grind with Ron, thus maintaining sphincter-virgin status. (also arguably a good thing).
Also as if Wizards wouldn't have just discovered guns and saved all their energy? machinegun>avadakedavra.
In addition here are some tid-bits I learned this weekend:
- Don't buy your younger sister shots
- Enya dancemixes are boss
- Don't leave half-full, melted icecream containers on the floor. Otherwise someone WILL lean over to ash in it and in the process empty the contents of the ashtray next to it onto the lounge room carpet.
Auf Wiedersehen,
Evilboy.
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