Unlike Sian, I have never considered the speed at which my nails grow. This is perhaps related to the fact that I am not studying at the moment.
Also I'm guessing a large portion of you have already read slutever's post on ladypornday. It has made me consider my porn-watching habits - and I also happened to be speaking to my Hussy friend who admitted to never/rarely watching porn. Guess what? I do! Here's some dot points on why/what/how..
- Submission is fabulous. Age adds an immediate power dynamic that I'm kind of into. I've always had tutor/lecture fantasies, which naturally leads to watching babysitter/student-teacher fantasies.
- There must be a story-line of some description.
- Usually I will only watch to generate more fantasies. My imagination is way cooler than watching a silicone-stuffed, exaggerated orgasm.
- Amateur porn takes off the edge. The real-er the better.
- Erotic fictions is also pretty marvelous. I can't remember where I read this but I'm pretty sure it's incredibly common for women to immediately feel guilty/disgusting after orgasm via porn. I liken it to la petit mort, but instead of sighing and wondering what to say to the boy/girl who caused your climax/anti-climax you snap the laptop closed and dread remembering the details of what you just watched. Fiction takes the edge off, because at least you're not guilty about the poor girl that just had to endure dry-sex for you to come.
Hope you don't mind the over-share.
Oh, the new layout is courtesy of my sister, Al. She actually took that photo in Argentina. It's obviously still in need of some tweaking - she's in the process of learning how to use photoshop.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I am not pleased
I was just watching Eyes Wide Shut from this crappy streaming site. It cut out juuuuuust before the weird sex stuff started.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Bigfoot, Muffin and the degenerate lifesyle.
I'm back in Melbournetown, which is fast becoming the hometown. After recovering from some significant valium-induced discomfort, watching Muffin vomit all over his beard and wipe it up with my jacket and allowing Terrace (my house) to return to its former infamy, I have had time to soak in the cool breezes, intellectual-types and tobacco that has overpowered my senses since returning.
Here is what has happened so far:
- I had a distraction-free, glorious sex-dream about a former one-night-stand that involved some serious metaphysical considerations. It was academic and sexual masturbation for the soul. It also involved fucking in my favorite toilet in Melbourne - Middle (unisex) toilet at Prudence.
- I made Muffin (who is actually Lennard) wash my vomit-covered jacket.
- Yhana the drug/condom hero slash nympho found a new place to live. Most likely quieter and involving less nudity.
- I inherited yet another Melbourne-freak housemate in the process of temporarily losing the hairy man. Whom I would quite like to dub bigfoot (in hairy-love-and-appreciation).
- I spent approximately three days sharing my bed and room with projectile-josh, muffin, anna (who is yet to inherit a nickname) and my sister Alex watching Grand Designs. Anna and I have both chosen house-related careers to pursue. I am to become a blacksmith.
- I facebook stalked a prospective tutor who's masters thesis was on Story of O and who's pHd thesis is on Foucault. I rather suspect that she will become my new girl-crush.
The general feeling is that I am going to become a household name of gender studies whilst spending a great portion of my time between Perth, Chile and Melbournetown over the next six months.
Wish me good luck,
Evilboy.
Here is what has happened so far:
- I had a distraction-free, glorious sex-dream about a former one-night-stand that involved some serious metaphysical considerations. It was academic and sexual masturbation for the soul. It also involved fucking in my favorite toilet in Melbourne - Middle (unisex) toilet at Prudence.
- I made Muffin (who is actually Lennard) wash my vomit-covered jacket.
- Yhana the drug/condom hero slash nympho found a new place to live. Most likely quieter and involving less nudity.
- I inherited yet another Melbourne-freak housemate in the process of temporarily losing the hairy man. Whom I would quite like to dub bigfoot (in hairy-love-and-appreciation).
- I spent approximately three days sharing my bed and room with projectile-josh, muffin, anna (who is yet to inherit a nickname) and my sister Alex watching Grand Designs. Anna and I have both chosen house-related careers to pursue. I am to become a blacksmith.
- I facebook stalked a prospective tutor who's masters thesis was on Story of O and who's pHd thesis is on Foucault. I rather suspect that she will become my new girl-crush.
The general feeling is that I am going to become a household name of gender studies whilst spending a great portion of my time between Perth, Chile and Melbournetown over the next six months.
Wish me good luck,
Evilboy.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
It's kinda funny that I was really excited about making new friends
I don't have a lot in common with my new friends. Here are some things they find particularly odd about me.
- I burp a lot
- My frequent use of sarcasm (completely wasted on them)
- I have a dirty mind (I was under the impression that everyone does, but apparently not)
- I don't listen/know about craptastic top 40 songs
- I have pissed in public (so fucking what)
Here are some things about them that I don't get.
- They don't use/understand sarcasm
- They don't make nearly as many or as clever dirty jokes as I do
- One of them asked me what a "good kisser" is
- The same one thinks I'm a freak because I don't like muscley guys
- He also asked me what a hangover is
- They think there is something wrong with me when I make little noises that don't resemble words
- They think it's a big deal that I have pissed in public
- They can't drink beer/are annoying when "drunk"
Eugh.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Can-Do Man
My Dad has been dubbed by most of my friends/me as the Can-do man - which I have no doubt he will take great pride in regaling to his friends and family now that I've told him. Anyway, he's a bit of an eccentric character, and I have inherited most of my character-traits from him so I thought I would let you know what he's all about...
- He is completely preoccupied with death. When we go to a wedding he will lean close to Alex or I and say "you have to get married before I die!", or once when we had guests over for dinner we spoke at length about which way people would like to be disposed of when they die. Luckily for Trevor, he already has a space in the closest graveyard reserved for him - which he takes great pride in reminding us of.
- He calls his very few friends 'cobbers', and when counting these he includes the family dog, Ralph, whom he also believes will die at the same time as himself. When he comes home after a long time away he sings to Ralph, as well. Occasionally he worries that if he took Ralph to Chile with him, he wouldn't be able to communicate with all the other dogs. He calls this his 'theory'.
- My father mines things for a living, but still proclaims to be an environmentalist. I have tried to argue with him at length about this, but most conversations end with something similar to "I am invaluable to the world. Goodnight"
- He calls the remote a "multi-lazer-twister-operator", "multi-lazer" for short - which Alex and I believed was the correct name for years. Until one-day I asked a friend to pass me the "multi-lazer" and they had no idea what I was talking about. Instead of tucking us in at night he used to give us a 'gossimer' which involved pulling our sheet up until it was in the air and letting it fall down over us.
- When I was born, he named me after the hill in Japan he was working at called "Hudgimoto" (or same-sounding with different letters). I've forever been "big-hudge" to Alex's "little-hudge".
This might explain to some of you a few of my oddest behaviours.
Peace!
Evilboy
- He is completely preoccupied with death. When we go to a wedding he will lean close to Alex or I and say "you have to get married before I die!", or once when we had guests over for dinner we spoke at length about which way people would like to be disposed of when they die. Luckily for Trevor, he already has a space in the closest graveyard reserved for him - which he takes great pride in reminding us of.
- He calls his very few friends 'cobbers', and when counting these he includes the family dog, Ralph, whom he also believes will die at the same time as himself. When he comes home after a long time away he sings to Ralph, as well. Occasionally he worries that if he took Ralph to Chile with him, he wouldn't be able to communicate with all the other dogs. He calls this his 'theory'.
- My father mines things for a living, but still proclaims to be an environmentalist. I have tried to argue with him at length about this, but most conversations end with something similar to "I am invaluable to the world. Goodnight"
- He calls the remote a "multi-lazer-twister-operator", "multi-lazer" for short - which Alex and I believed was the correct name for years. Until one-day I asked a friend to pass me the "multi-lazer" and they had no idea what I was talking about. Instead of tucking us in at night he used to give us a 'gossimer' which involved pulling our sheet up until it was in the air and letting it fall down over us.
- When I was born, he named me after the hill in Japan he was working at called "Hudgimoto" (or same-sounding with different letters). I've forever been "big-hudge" to Alex's "little-hudge".
This might explain to some of you a few of my oddest behaviours.
Peace!
Evilboy
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
My Ventbox
I skyped with my Dad and my Nanny (his mum) last night (for the first time since I left Australia) and it made me realise how glad I am that I'm on the other side of the world and don't have to put up with them everyday anymore.
Look how fucking adorabubble my dog is though.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Afterthought
How cool are these?
The picture should link to an etsy shop with these in all different colours. Unfortunately they're ridiculously expensive, and not even for sale online by the looks of it. But these are:
Not only is the sweater/jumper/dress AMAZING. The leggings are also really fucking cool also.
Winter-approaching-love,
Evilboy
Winter-approaching-love,
Evilboy
The Home-Land/My Family
Those of you who don't know, my family lives in Santiago. That's in Chile, South America by the way (for some reason I find it necessary to remind people of this. Probably because I'm terrible at geography and until recently didn't know that Bolivia is in South America. Not the Middle East) Anyway they're back in Perth for a week or two so I'm here to meet and greet and remind myself that I didn't fly into Melbourne via stalk.
So anyway, my sister and I had a week of sisterly bonding to do before Mum got here. We spent most of it arguing, but we also managed to break the pool pump. It now has a layer of algae growing on the surface and reminds me of when the Swan River grows deadly algae and we're all told not to swim in it. The dog likes to drink out of it, though - so at least we've pleased someone (regardless of the fact that by drinking from the algae and cockroach infested waters he may very well die).
Here's a few other things that happened:
- I died my hair a feral pink-colour. Which - according to my sweet, darling younger sister - made it look like I was losing my hair.
- I shaved it again. Which is surprisingly therapeutic - which is probably why some people shave it all off when they have post-traumatic stress. When we lived on the Cocos Islands Mum hated her job, so her, Alex and I paraded around with shaved heads. I shall try to find a photo for you.
- I dropped my sister off at Murray St (for those of you who don't know it's a place to go out in Perth). Apart from a bunch of drunk teenagers thinking that I was a taxi, it made me feel old. I actually fretted over her getting drunk and being abused by some sweaty eighteen-year-old boy in baggy jeans and a v-neck white t-shirt.
- I heard a lot about Alex's love(r). Last time she stayed with Mary and Trev (parents - Chile) she met this guy that we call Rollerblader because apparently he's the third best rollerblader in the country. In addition he doesn't speak any english - according to Alex they're in love regardless. Apparently they google translate emails with each other.
- Failed to pee on command for a urine test. Got to carry a cup and later a cup of pee around with me whilst I spent the afternoon trying to piss slash lamenting the seven viles of blood that were stolen from my body.
- Spent half an hour fretting over the fact that the urine test might be checking for drugs. Which they would invariably find. Only to be told by Mary that they were only looking for sugar in my pee.
- I made a lot of trips to the local shopping center Karrinyup and managed to get away without running into anyone.
That is all,
Evilboy.
So anyway, my sister and I had a week of sisterly bonding to do before Mum got here. We spent most of it arguing, but we also managed to break the pool pump. It now has a layer of algae growing on the surface and reminds me of when the Swan River grows deadly algae and we're all told not to swim in it. The dog likes to drink out of it, though - so at least we've pleased someone (regardless of the fact that by drinking from the algae and cockroach infested waters he may very well die).
Here's a few other things that happened:
- I died my hair a feral pink-colour. Which - according to my sweet, darling younger sister - made it look like I was losing my hair.
- I shaved it again. Which is surprisingly therapeutic - which is probably why some people shave it all off when they have post-traumatic stress. When we lived on the Cocos Islands Mum hated her job, so her, Alex and I paraded around with shaved heads. I shall try to find a photo for you.
- I dropped my sister off at Murray St (for those of you who don't know it's a place to go out in Perth). Apart from a bunch of drunk teenagers thinking that I was a taxi, it made me feel old. I actually fretted over her getting drunk and being abused by some sweaty eighteen-year-old boy in baggy jeans and a v-neck white t-shirt.
- I heard a lot about Alex's love(r). Last time she stayed with Mary and Trev (parents - Chile) she met this guy that we call Rollerblader because apparently he's the third best rollerblader in the country. In addition he doesn't speak any english - according to Alex they're in love regardless. Apparently they google translate emails with each other.
- Failed to pee on command for a urine test. Got to carry a cup and later a cup of pee around with me whilst I spent the afternoon trying to piss slash lamenting the seven viles of blood that were stolen from my body.
- Spent half an hour fretting over the fact that the urine test might be checking for drugs. Which they would invariably find. Only to be told by Mary that they were only looking for sugar in my pee.
- I made a lot of trips to the local shopping center Karrinyup and managed to get away without running into anyone.
That is all,
Evilboy.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sam complained that I haven't posted here for ages
Sorry to anyone else if you've actually missed me. I've been too busy living Somewhere Other Than Perth and blogging about living Somewhere Other Than Perth.
The problem with having a blog that people actually read is that I can't be completely honest and write about whatever I want. For example, my new friends annoy me. They're okay sometimes but I know that if we were all in Perth, I wouldn't be friends with them. They range from Dropped On His Head As a Baby Stupid to Nineteen Year Know-it-All Annoying. They make me miss my friends back home whom I actually have things in common with/want to spend time with.
I'd still choose my annoying friends over living in Perth and being stuck in that black hole of petty drama.
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