SO I've decided I need more kicks. Therefore in the next week this is what I am going to do:
1. A pregnancy test. I'm not even close to preggers. My life is far too unexciting for such things. But I reckon that ten seconds or two minutes or whatever I'll still feel the kick. I might even wonder what would happen if I was pregnant. Thinking about it now I feel rather maternal. I might even keep the baby, call it James and teach her the joys of postmodern gender theory. According to this add on tv kids learn the fastest between the ages of one and five. I'm going to read my child Judith Butler and Foucault. Maybe she'll even help me make sense of Irigaray.
2. Speed. Never done it, crave the rush. Don't want to sleep for a few days.
3. Cycle drunk more often. It's quite refreshing.
4. Devour the Christmas hamper that my mum is sending me out of pity :)
Peace.
Evilboy.
You should try doing a pregnancy test at the doctor's (which comes up on the bill which your mother still pays for) and have the doctor go "ummmm....i thiiiiiink that's negative....", you know, for kicks.
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