Tween

I'm watching a hillary duff movie high and it's somewhat exciting. Sometimes I think I'm a tween - you know Miley Cyrus and crushes on Justin Bieber. I watched that proactive add that he was in and kind of felt a bit turned on. He's all fresh and bright eyed, or bushy and bright tailed or whatever the phrase entails. I would post comments on celebrities' facebook walls telling Britney how talented she is and Lady Gaga how much she inspires me. The other day I watched some youtube video of her crying and started concocting a letter to her in my head about how fabulous she is and to feel better soon. Then I had a daydream about her turning up at my door looking all nonchalant and me making her a cup of green tea that I stole from the Hussy because I can't afford my own. We would talk about our neuroses and she would give me a hug and tell me that my letter really spoke to her on a level that she can't seem to find in her super-star world. We would share a joint and talk gender and religion for a while, then she would pay for me to travel with all of her tours as a self-esteem booster.

I feel as though this would be a more productive way of spending my time - plus I probably wouldn't have to pay rent, or buy booze or pay for food. Technically I currently don't do any of those things, but at some point in the future being Lady Gaga's self-esteem booster would be a good opportunity for me to use my degree to do good.

I've been reading a lot about future prospects studying gender studies and as it turns out there isn't that much I'm qualified to do. Here are my current prospects:

1. Finish an undergrad degree that has so far taken me seven semesters to get half-way through. (usually it takes six semesters to graduate)
2. Be Lady Gaga's right-hand genderqueer.
3. Move to Chile, become a drug mule (like projectile-Josh's Mum was) and work my way up to owning a quarter of South America's cocaine industry. From there I become President-of-the-world and legalise Marijuana. From there I buy a hemp-paper company. Then (naturally) I become a tycoon - an entrepreneur, a monopoliser of life.
4. Write a book. About plastic. Pay a reviewer $200 to call me an impressive thinker. Refrain from eating for approximately one week until people star buying my book.
5. Study Retail Management at Victoria University. Work as a manager in a music-store.
6. Hire a terrible song-writer and produce music myself using garage-band. Date Justin Bieber. Receive crippling hate-mail from fellow tweens and have a nervous break down.