Last night my father, in a moment of brilliance and half way through his second bottle of wine, told me that there will be a war between China and the US and China will win. So, apart from having to learn both Cantonese and Mandarin I've decided to align my political-aspirations with South America. Here is why:
- I think I might be a Child of the Revolution and if I join to Chilean communist party I might be able to marry into Mao's family. With this socialist-cred I can survive any economic change that may incur.
- I like pisco and I can salsa. These two attributes appear to be imperative to a life hanging with my fellow revolutionaries - particularly considering when your order a piscola here you're getting half a glass of spirits and some coca-cola to alter the taste slightly.
- I think I'm turning into an alpaca. I would thus be ideally suited to the mountain ranges of Argentina/Chile (ie: the Andes). I could spend my days being herded by vaquero (cowboys) and munching on fertile grass-lands. They would call me 'Angus' and my wool will be worn by royalty.
- In the event of a war between China and the US, China will most likely become an economic superpower. Therefore, North America's 'war on drugs' waged in the South may cease to be so inefficient - in which case someone will need to lobby for the legalisation of the cocaine industry. This way, whilst I may not be a gansgter, I will still be chillin' with the mafia regulating the manufacture of coca. Therefore Israeli kids on their gap-years (between military service and university) will know that what they legally buy is clean and safe. (NB// This is simply an example. Anyone who purchases cocaine in South America will be pleased, I have simply noticed that many Israeli teenagers frequent this continent in search of a binge/purge prior to re-entering the normal social strata).
Thus it makes perfect sense for me to never return to study and continue enjoying my afternoon pisco sours in peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment